Wonka Harassment
by LadyBow8
Summary: It was a quick story my friend and I thought up one day to counter boredom. A 17-year-old girl, chosen to help Wonka advertise his new candy, refuses to leave the factory and demands sexual relations.


**Wonka Harassment**

A Tea Party Hell Production

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This in no way reflects how I would behave in real life. :)

On to Story:

_(Scene starts in any suburban home at the television set. Two kids are staring mindlessly into the screen while eating a couple of Trix yogurts. Toys and various other items are littering the floor around them as they sit in their pajamas, spread out over the living room furniture.)_

_(Suddenly a commercial come on, and there's a girl (JENNIFER) with long hair and a bow on the side of her head walking down the street minding her own business. Right in front of her, a portal stretches open and she gasps in surprise as a foot shoots out, and soon after, a man. WILLY WONKA, played by Johnny Depp, is displayed in his 3-dimensional sexilicious goodness, and it becomes very apparent that this is a candy commercial!)_

**WONKA: **Hello little girl! Come with meeeeeeeeeeeeee! _(squeals)_

_(He yanks her by the arm and hops back in with girlish charm, and in a very unconvincing fashion, she shouts in delight and wonder as they twirl down a computerized raspberry whirl.)_

_(They shoot down from the sky and land by the chocolate lake. Wonka takes a moment to adjust his hat, as it has just fallen off, and stands up, impatiently waiting for the girl as she rubs her head and stands up with labor.)_

**WONKA: **I have a new candy, little girl!

_(She shakes her head and returns to her naïve awestricken character.)_

**JENNIFER: **Oh? Really! What is it!

_(His arm is behind his back, but he swiftly shoots it out in front of her, revealing a piece of gum.)_

**JENNIFER: **Oh wowwwwwww. It's gum!

**WONKA: **No shiiiiiii- I mean it's not just _any_ kind of gum! It's Wonka's new…Fruit Splash…Delight! _(awkward)_

_(Jennifer turns to the camera.)_

**JENNIFER: **Whatever does that mean, kids!

**WONKA: **This gum changes flavors! Iiiit, It-

_(He takes out a Wonka card and flips through a few before pausing.)_

**WONKA: **It's the newest technology of chewing gum! It changes flavors while you chew! It goes from Luscious Cherry, to…to Citrus-y…Lime, and sour Lemon, and Sweet Banana!

_(While he goes through the fruits, their corresponding CGI-ed fruits circle around Wonka and Jennifer who stares in amazement.)_

**JENNIFER: **Well I wanna have some!

_(She reaches out for the strip of gum in Wonka's hand before he snatches it away mercilessly.)_

**WONKA: **Well _TOO BAD_, Starshine! You're gonna have to go to the store!

_(He turns to the camera enthusiastically)_

**WONKA: **Come one, come all! Go buy my new gum!

_(His eyes sparkle.)_

**DIRECTOR: **CUT!

_(WONKA abruptly loses the cutesy childish charm in his expression and saunters off into the shadows around the shooting area.)_

**WONKA: **Now go away!

_(Wonka eyes them while turning the lid of a bottled water as the crew and camera men carry on down to the door and leave with all the equipment. He takes a long drink from the water and while turning around with lazy eyes, they immediately shoot open and he spits his water into the grass at the sight of Jennifer who is still standing by the chocolate lake, watching him admirably.)_

**WONKA: **What're _you_ still doing here, little girl?

**JENNIFER: **Cut the little-girl shit, I'm 17 years old.

**WONKA: **A-a-alright. Well…you can go now!

_(He raises his hands and shakes them a little, and then directs them towards the door.)_

**JENNIFER: **But I want to stay.

_(Wonka's mouth drops to the bottom of his chin. He returns to normal and narrows his eyes.)_

**WONKA: **Well…uhm…you can't!

_(He leans forward to exaggerate his response, lifting an index finger.)_

**JENNIFER: **Sure I can…wanna go hang out? Does this place have a penthouse?

**WONKA: **No. Why would I want that? You can't make candy there!

**JENNIFER: **You can make other things…

_(She strolls towards him seductively and runs her fingertip over the shiny "W" around his collar. He retracts hastily.)_

**WONKA: **Eh-no-no-no, I don't think so.

**JENNIFER: **Yes we caaaaan, you don't need to be nervous! I like youuuu.

_(She giggles like a moron. He looks down to her hand which is about to come up and swipe the side of his coat._

**WONKA: **I can see that…

_(He slaps her hand. She pauses and looks disheartened.)_

**JENNIFER: **What's-a matter?

**WONKA: **Ohhhh nothing..nothing nothing…I'm just feeling a little uncomfortable.

**JENNIFER: **I bet I can ease some of that tension…

_(She pins him up against a giant candy mushroom and he yelps in surprise as her hands enclose around him.)_

**WONKA: **You should go now!

_(He shouts with a monotone into the air.) _

**JENNIFER: **Willy, I wanna go allll the way!

_(He begins shouting incoherent jibberish in Oompa-Loompa tongue and after a few more seconds of Jennifer running her hands over him, a group of Oompa-Loompas emerge from the brush and pull her away from the overwhelmed Wonka against the stem of the mushroom. He brushes his suit off nervously)_

**WONKA: **Take her to the garbage shoot!

_(Jennifer wriggles around as the Oompa-Loompas grab her limbs and attempt to haul her off, when an enraged look on her face surfaces and she swings her arms out, sending several of the little workers flying into some cotton-candy trees. They shout out in fear, but it is too late! Her arms and legs dart into camera view at several angles, smacking Oompa-Loompas left and right until she's back on her feet, and they lay in scattered piles by the lake. _

**JENNIFER: **How dare you try to get rid of me! I came here to see you and this is how I'm repaid?!

_(Wonka suddenly shows a tint of agitation himself.)_

**WONKA: **We were doing a commercial, my dear! And now it's over! Please go away! _(losing patience)_

**JENNIFER: **No! This is the only time I'll ever get to see you and I'm not jumping back into that portal and losing this forever!

**WONKA: **..._Please, _go away?

**JENNIFER: **We're going to have sex, damnit!

_(Wonka loses his girly accent and goes back to the deeper voice of Johnny Depp.)_

**WONKA: **Seriously.

_(She pauses, surprised by his sudden stern expression.)_

**JENNIFER: **What!

**WONKA: **I don't care! I want to be alone!

**JENNIFER: **Why! Don't you ever get lonely?!

**WONKA: **No!

_(Suddenly CHARLIE shows up.)_

**CHARLIE: **Hey Willy, what's going on? I thought we were going to discuss business matters. _(English accent)_

_(Wonka turns to him with a pained expression.)_

**WONKA: **Just a few…minor difficulties.

**CHARLIE: **Well who's this bitch?

_(Jennifer begins to seethe.)_

**JENNIFER: **Excuse me!

**CHARLIE: **Are you bothering Mr. Wonka?

**WONKA: **She won't leave! This is harassment!

_(Charlie looks up to Jennifer with determination in his eyes.)_

**CHARLIE: **What the fuck do you think you're doing!

**JENNIFER: **I'm trying to bed him! But it's ridiculously hard!

**CHARLIE: **Oh my goodness! I'm going to call the police! This is our home and you're being quite rude!

_(Jennifer yanks him up by the cotton-balled sweater.)_

**JENNIFER: **Listen, little Jr. _Son of a Bitch. _

_(Wonka's eyes widen.)_

**JENNIFER: **Willy and I are _busy_ right now. If you call the police, I'll tell them you've been scooping chocolate from the lake with your hands!

_(His eyes enlarge.)_

**JENNIFER: **Now go back to your little cottage and eat your godamn cabbage soup!

_(The boy stares in horror, and then when Jennifer's grasp of his shirt breaks lose, he scurries off down an arch of the candy room, back to his house somewhere in the unseen distance. Wonka and Jennifer look back to each other, although Willy seems to have a tear in his eye._

**WONKA: **_Pleeeease! _I don't want to have sex with you! I don't want to have sex with anyone!

**JENNIFER: **That's what they all say. Give me a few moments! I swear, I'll make you purr like a walrus!

**WONKA: **What the fu- no!

_(He attempts to scurry off but Jennifer catches him by the pant leg and he falls to the ground, hitting his head on a nearby rock-candy stone. He lays unconscious in the grass. Jennifer's eyes glow in curiosity as she leans forward.)_

**JENNIFER: **Willy?

_(No answer. He lays peacefully with his eyes half-closed, and his arms spread out. She takes this opportunity to stare at him creepily, and then grabs him by the ankles and drags him across the ground.)_

_(WONKA slowly cracks his eyes open and they're met with a blinding florescent light up above. He feels around and recognizes this chair to be the one in his psychologist's office. He eases forward and rubs the side of his head in agony.)_

**WONKA: **Aghhh…

**JENNIFER: **Better?

_(He immediately wakes up and sees JENNIFER seated calmly at the psychologist's chair.)_

**WONKA: **AGH! What the hell did you do to me!

**JENNIFER: **Oh relax! I don't do things to people while they're asleep. That's called _dater__ape, _and it is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

_(She shakes her head knowledgeably. WONKA doesn't look too amused.)_

**WONKA: **You're not going to convince me to have sex with you!-

**JENNIFER: **You're just a little virgin, aren't you?

_(He gasps and clutches his hand over his chest.)_

**WONKA: **That's none of your business!

**JENNIFER: **Well either way, I'd say it's about time to get started.

_(She shoots out of the chair and calmly, but cautiously, approaches the startled Wonka. He launches himself from the chair and stands by the door.)_

**WONKA: **If you leave right now, I won't press charges!

**JENNIFER: **No! I came to bang you, and I intend to reach my goal before I leave forever!

**WONKA: **You're insane!

**JENNIFER: **Yeah, maybe I am! But it's still happening_!_

_(She darts towards him with her arms extended, when Wonka notices his cane by the door and swings it out in defense. He smacks her upside the chin and she falls to the ground. He stares at the end of the cane, surprised at his own strength, and then to the pained Jennifer, who has quickly regained stance. She jumps for him again and falls by the same fury. Wonka experiences a strange sensation and listens delightfully to the sounds of the candy shaking inside his cane as it repeatedly strikes her in the face. She cries in pain, but he does not stop until he has to catch his breath. His shoulders rise high with each inhale. He drops the cane guiltily and watches the girl struggle to revive, her long hair tangled over the floor, and her face, with a stream of blood down her temple.)_

_(As she begins to stand up again, she tips left and right from dizziness.)_

**JENNIFER: **Aghh…

_(Wonka looks like a troubled child.)_

**WONKA: **Why... won't... you...die?

**JENNIFER: **Because! I have to have sex with you!

_(He suddenly looks very tired and annoyed.)_

**WONKA: **Oh for God's sake…fine.

_(He lays on the consoling chair awkwardly.)_

**WONKA: **Let's get this over with. I'll just pretend you're Winona Ryder.

_**THE END**_


End file.
